Universe is kind

London, 12 October 2016 [00.16]

I was born without anything
But I feel like I have everything
Indeed we all have everything
Universe is kind.

All I need can be fulfilled, not necessarily what I want
I fear none as universe is mine
and I am possessed by nobody but the universe itself
I am the universe, and so are we.

Actually, there is no 'me', myself is an illusion.
We are just perception, so called conciousness
Everyone and everything has conciousness
I feel it. Do try to feel it!

I talk to the trees and they talk to me
We are all connected because we are one.

I want to let you know that trees are generous
They are lovely and selfless, they just want to serve us their best
They cannot hate because they do not know how to hate
I do love them, and so do they.

Be grateful, try to see how blessed we are.
Breath, raise awareness.
Listen, see, smell, feel.
We are rich because all the energy is there and cannot be destroyed.

Nammyohorengekyo.

academic life - an update

London, 06 Oct 2016 [22:53]

Time? What is time?
If I try to think about it for a while, it feels so fast. My last three and a half months here feels nothing but like a snap. Literally, I have spent 1/10 of my study time here. How could I manage the remaining 9/10 to finish all the research and the thesis? Only future knows.
Let's not focus on that at the moment, shall we retrieve back to these past three months; what have I gained? Okay, let's make a list:
- Reading reading reading! Never have I ever in my life consuming these huge number of scientific journals regularly! By time, I learn how to effectively dig into those papers, understand the real meaning of them and extracting the essential data I need. Averagely now, I can read 10 papers in just couple of hours. Averagely before, I barely read any in a regular basis.
- Seminars, workshops, courses, symposiums, journal clubs! Surrounded by this highly academically intelligent community, leads me to the entirely different realm. I couldn't believe that science world has been this huge, that actually there are these many people who constantly pushing the limit of sorta what was unknown before. Slowly but sure, I have started to get the sense of how the scientific world really is.
- Biomaterials Lab! I have been working with several machines I didn't know exist before, such as Dynamic Mechanical Analysis machine, Differential Scanning Calorimetry, Fourier Transform Infrared spectroscopy, etc. By this time, I feel like being half material engineer really. To understand how the principle behind those tests, how to manage the testing parameters, and finally analise the results, is particularly quite a struggle. I have been digging into chemistry and physics much deeper that I have ever done in my life. Well, at the moment, I'm still striving though. However, it did hit me with some enlightenment I didn't know before. This really really stretching my limit. Oh by the way, I have been certified to handle liquid nitrogen which is quite cool I think, even though it means I risk my life everytime I have to work with that particular substance.
- Tissue Culture Lab! This is still not that much, yet. I am currently in the middle of the induction, which has many stages. Well, this is also a new realm. Here I am learning how to handle cells, how to breed them, seeing them, counting them, analysing them and working with several chemicals and machines I never touched before. Currently, I am playing with human osteosarcoma cell lines for practice as they are abundant in numbers and particularly easy to grow. Later on, I wish to play with some stem cells and osteoblasts on my material. Long way to go!

Bob's your uncle!

Well, perhaps not really. I just briefly summarised them. A part of them, I gained much valuable things and insights of life I can't really describe, not because I don't want to, but rather too complex to elaborate.

In terms of feeling, this study does pump my heart quite hard as what I had during my previous undergrad research and the clinical training during dental school (a.k.a koass). Damn, actually I hate that pressure. It's mentally uncomfortable. But that's how growth feels like, isn't it? Always painful, never actually happens in comfort zone.

Closing remarks, I surrender myself merely to the fate that I have. I have no idea how everything will eventually go, it usually leads to a complete surprise. All I can say is, I feel grateful for having all the opportunity that has been given to me. Being able to see the world in a completely different way is a bliss :)

I am going vegan

Approximately last fortnight ago, I accidentally saw piles of disgusting pictures about animal cruelty behind our daily consumed food in one of my facebook friend’s timeline. Well, it did nauseate myself quite bad and I ended up swimming into tons of information of the food industry facts that I didn’t reckon before.

Ready eat meals are quite, if might say very, expensive here in London. So I prepare and cook almost every meal that I have everyday. There are several moments since I live here that I found the taste of the meat, either beef of chicken, blant. I did not find them tasty, but rather ruining my taste. The smell and the texture, somehow, sicken me.

Me myself was not particularly a big fan of meat either back then, I’ve been undergoing quite a healthy lifestyle with lots of vegs and fruits. However, I still thought that I need the proteins and nutrients from the meat, and I quite fancy some taste of them which are delicious such as salmon sashimi, etc; so I still consumed them routinely in my diet.

Yet, after doing some deep research about veganism, it gave me the new idea that actually we’re completely able to gain those essential nutrients from the plant-based sources! And the fact is there are many many people that actually benefit more after they’ve been undergoing the vegan lifestyle. They confide that they become more positive, energetic, less sluggish, loose weight, their skin become glowing, and they feel even more connected to the universe. Some male vegan could still grow great muscles, even better; and girls just have the lean body effortlessly, which was dreadfully toilsome before.

I don’t push myself too much for this, really. It happens naturally as it is more like a life call. I know my family and perhaps many of u, would not support this new lifestyle I am going to encounter, but I have committed myself to practice such kind of conscious-eating to myself. I would still respect your kind invitation to savour yummy dishes, albeit I would perhaps would not enjoy them as much since the loud painful process of the lives sacrificing behind the meal would keep reciting in my mind while I’m consuming them.

So here I am, doing what feels good to me :)

Efektivitas! Kunci penting untuk produktif

Tidak terasa telah hampir dua bulan saya sekarang berada di London. Banyak rekan saya di Indonesia bertanya, apakah saya sudah kangen rumah alias homesick? Saya selalu bilang belum. Bahkan, anehnya saya merasa sangat nyaman dan tidak asing di sini. Banyak orang mewanti-wanti akan adanya culture shock di tempat baru; well, to be honest, di Indonesia saya malah kerap merasakan culture stress! Mengapa saya katakan begitu? Akan saya jelaskan berikutnya. Perlu saya sampaikan bahwa saya tidak sedang menjadi seorang yang tidak cinta tanah air, tetapi saya ingin memberikan gambaran fakta yang mana perlu kita jadikan bahan evaluasi diri agar menjadi bangsa yang lebih baik ke depannya. Banyak alasan yang membuat saya merasa sangat nyaman di London, saya pun tidak bisa mengelaborasinya secara jelas, tapi saya merasakannya! Berikut saya sampaikan salah satu di antaranya, yaitu tentang efektivitas. Alasan-alasan lain akan saya elaborasi di post terpisah di lain kesempatan ketika saya dapat inspirasi lagi ya :)

Orang-orang di sini suka bekerja efektif. Berikut adalah contoh riil yang saya alami. Saya memiliki dua orang supervisor yang mana salah satunya adalah kepala departemen yang sangat-sangat sibuk, sebut saja Prof A. Beliau memiliki sekretaris pribadi yang selalu mengatur jadwal beliau. Di tengah kesibukan mereka, saya dan kedua supervisor saya menyetujui untuk mengadakan regular joint meeting setiap satu kali dalam sebulan yang tanggal dan waktunya disesuaikan. Dikarenakan Prof A sangat sibuk, saya disarankan untuk mencari waktu kosong Prof A terlebih dahulu baru mencocokkannya dengan jadwal supervisor saya yang satu lagi, sebut saja Dr B, yang tidak sesibuk Prof A. Saya lantas menyampaikan hal tersebut dengan sekretaris Prof A untuk mencarikan saya tanggal di setiap bulannya untuk regular joint meeting tersebut. Karena saya tidak ingin merepotkan sang sekretaris yang pastinya sudah sangat sibuk, saya menawarkan diri bahwa setelah dia memberikan beberapa pilihan tanggal kosong Prof A, saya akan menghubungi Dr B untuk mencari tanggal yang pas untuk keduanya lalu barulah saya mengkonfirmasi tanggal tersebut ke sekretaris Prof A untuk mem-booking tanggal dan waktu tersebut untuk meeting kami. Luar biasa, sang sekretaris mengatakan bahwa dia saja yang akan mem-propose tanggal kosong Prof A ke Dr B dan setelah dia mendapatkan tanggal pasti di mana keduanya dapat hadir, barulah dia tinggal memberikan tanggal tersebut ke saya. Dia berkata bahwa percuma saja jika dia memberikan saya tanggal Prof A dan saya harus repot bolak balik ke Dr B lalu ke dia lagi untuk konfirmasi. Wow! Suatu inisiatif yang tidak saya ekspektasi sebelumnya sama sekali! Yah saya tahu bahwa itu merupakan hal yang lebih efektif, namun tentu saya tidak ingin lancang menyuruhnya untuk melakukan hal tersebut karena akan menambah beban kerjanya dengan harus mengkonfirmasi tanggal ke Dr B juga, kan dia adalah sekretaris Prof A. Saya sangat suka pola berpikir sang sekretaris! Yang penting efektif, tidak perlu merepotkan banyak pihak.

Saya membayangkan dan teringat betapa parahnya sikap para petugas administratif di berbagai institusi di Indonesia! Yah saya yakin kalian semua pasti pernah mengalami sistem birokrasi yang berliku-liku dan rumit. Saya sering sekali geleng-geleng kepala dan mengelus dada jika melihat efektivitas dan produktivitas para pekerja itu. Banyak sekali waktu dan sumber daya yang terbuang sia-sia, yang mana sebenarnya pekerjaan mudah dapat diselesaikan dalam waktu singkat namun berakhir pelik karena tidak adanya kepedulian satu sama lain untuk mencapai suatu tujuan bersama. Berapa dari kalian yang pernah merasa di-pingpong oleh petugas-petugas birokrasi itu dan kalian harus bolak-balik tidak karuan padahal jika mereka bisa berkomunikasi internal, semua hal tersebut tidak harus terjadi? Para petugas masing-masing divisi pasti biasanya akan hanya peduli dengan pekerjaannya sendiri, dan tidak peduli dengan efektivitas secara holistik. Bayangkan jika sekretaris Prof A tadi jika kondisinya di Indonesia, hampir pasti dia tidak akan mau jika harus disuruh mengkonfirmasi juga ke Dr B baru memberi tahu saya tanggalnya, boro-boro inisiatif menawarkan diri.

Kejadian seperti ini tidak hanya terjadi sekali seperti ini, namun pernah juga di lain kasus yang akan terlalu panjang jika saya ceritakan kembali. Saya rasa dari penjelasan di atas kalian sudah mendapatkan esensi efektivitas dan produktivitas yang saya maksud. Akhir kata, saya adalah orang yang cinta bekerja efektif. Saya tidak tahan (bahkan dengan diri sendiri) jika saya tidak efektif, baik dalam hal sekecil apapun. Semoga Indonesia perlahan dapat berubah ke arah yang lebih baik, saya melihat ada harapan dengan beberapa pemimpin kita saat ini :)

I am a student (again)

Heyyaa... Here I am again!

Hey, you know what? I am now a student, AGAIN! Haha.. what a surprise!
And you know what else? I am now in London!! Weeheee...!
Alright, behave Liz, behave... Remember, lady-like ;)

Well, I've actually been here for quite some time, it's been one and a half month!! Blimey!
Yeah I know, I'm always late to write here. But, it means it gives me more things to share, doesn't it? ;)

Okay, highlight of the topic, which actually perhaps you would most likely have known this information, I am now studying Dentistry Research (MPhil/PhD) at King's College London.

There I was, still excited to take a selfie with my beloved uni on my first visit.

Pardon my stray hair which might be annoying, London is so windy!

So practically, my study is research-based which focuses on creating a novel tissue-engineered construct to substitute bone in the field of maxillofacial surgery.

Yeah, I have embarked on a new boat! Sailing over from a clinical work to a more scientific one.

Many people asked me why I finally choose this kind of study. The answer is simple, yet having quite complex story. In short, because it's exciting to learn something new!

Haha well, it's got more story to be revealed actually. Let's dig it, shall we? ;)

----------------------

Once upon a time, this girl named Lilis who has just graduated from the dental school, was then continue working as a dental general practitioner in a private clinic. She loved her job, however, she felt a bit bored doing the routine job in a small room. She always loves surgery, yet just feel fine with anything else in the field.

Then she left for an internship in Seoul, South Korea for almost three months. She worked at one huge dental hospital assisting dentists who worked strenously everyday. Throughout this period, she had been in a huge dilemma over her next stage of life she should take. She couldn't even count how many sleepless nights she had been through during those time. The predicament was that she really wants to be an oral and maxillofacial surgeon, yet she would also like to study abroad which is extremely expensive and competitive. Then she realized one essential thing, she doesn't want to work ONLY as a practitioner, she would also love to have another world such as a career in university or research. Yeah that! Then why not trying to become a researcher as well?! It is more feasible to reach that dream at this point. She could still manage to take after her surgery passion afterwards or if this plan didn't work, right? Then she started to draw her plan, her well-structured plan for her future.

She thinks, working only as a practitioner, either dentist or surgeon, is like a labour. Once she stops working, she'll not paid. And, it's very physical-oriented which would consume her time and energy so much. And that job requires her to be fully focused, thus is not expedient to be done long term until her retirement age. As an active person who could never stand being idle, of course she would need to prepare other alternative.

Alright, that's the egocentric side. Let's explore other benefit in a more benevolent point of view.

By becoming a researcher or academia, she'll also contribute more to the society. Well, it might sound fable, but it's true. From the deepest of her heart, she wants to become a woman of value. She cares about money, as everyone does, but that is not the utmost important substance of life. She wants to find her destiny. And she feels right about it, so she would give it a try.

Long story short, she found the study opportunity at King's and applied for the scholarship. Eventually, after long and vigorous struggle, she made it. This is her way, it's been opened.

-----------To be continued-----------

Well guys, that's the part of the complicated story! Haha, hope you didn't fell asleep :P

Being here, encountering this new life.. just feel right for me. I can't explain why or how, it's something in me that knows its own fate. This endevour is not easy, but if I have been led here, should I be led to wrap it as well? I'm keeping that faith in my mind.

Shall everyone of us discover our own destiny.

~Liz

Laughing Soul Friends

On my 20-something right now, I realize one thing about friendship: You have different kind of friendships towards different kind of groups of friends. (Okay, there were too many ofs there :p)

Yeah but it's true, isn't it? Different group of friends, different style of social activities and topic of conversation you have. Some friends are all about work, work, and work, well in my case because I'm a dentist then some friends can only get along with when we talk about teeth, patients, and all things around that; some are all about guys and relationships; some are so into spiritual and metaphysical stuffs. In the other hand, there is this one group of so-called crazy people who can always push your maximum LOL button. Today, I will only focus on the latest type of friendship, the "crazy one". 

There are still soooo many types of friendship we can have, I will not discuss those at this moment, maybe later, maybe ;) It doesn't mean that I don't enjoy other kinds of friendship, all kinds of those are completing and balancing each other. I enjoy all. But I specially do love people I can be crazy with :D

So, let me introduce my CRAZIEST friends ever: The Thirteens :D

Can you spot which one is me? Ok, let's try again.

Hahahaha ok I guess now you can see me. Yes, we are that crazy, we are that rude :p

I had written about them quite a long time ago when I was in high school here (pardon my old cheezy teen writing style :P). Those pics up there were old photos too, these days become so difficult to gather 13 girls all together because we live in different places, here is the most updated and the best try we could do so far:

Once I ever heard that we have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime. I know that we are friends for a lifetime :)

xx,
Liz

Master Cheng Yen and Lotus Sutra

I have this unique habit that when I'm having my meal in my room, I always watch TV. My favorite TV stations are Metro TV and DAAI TV. Metro TV gives me a lot of update about this whole world, especially this country; and DAAI TV supplies me with peace within my spirit.

Since I watched DAAI TV, I felt in love with this one person "Master Cheng Yen". Falling in love here doesn't mean I love her in a romantic way, but rather than I really really like her as a person! I love all her teaching, her character, her aura, her attitute, and her deeds. Who doen't know her? (Maybe some people :P) She is the founder of Tzu Chi Foundation, the Buddhist philanthropic organization that has done a numerous amount of social movements all over the world. There she is...

She is known as "Mother Theresa of Asia" due to her virtue towards international disaster relief, environmental protection, community volunteering and many other virtuous actions.

Believe it or not, Master Cheng Yen is now 78 years old! Oh... She doesn't look like one. I guess I need to learn from her how to be that ageless.

Actually in DAAI TV, I only look for programs that she appears in, such as "Lentera Kehidupan" or "Master Cheng Yen Bercerita". Somehow, when I listened to her... my peaceful spirit inside emerged abruptly. I could feel her soothing charismatic aura full of compassion and love. Her Dharma teaching touched my soul, and I believe she has touched a lot of people's spirit too. What a gorgeous and honorable capability! When the melancholic side of me is in a very sensitive state (it happens some time, I don't know, maybe hormonal cause), I even cried listening to her teaching. I believe to have this kind of ability to touch other's personal button like this ain't no a tiny skill! She must have reached some kind of high spiritual holy stage.

I am a Buddhist. I was much taught about Lotus Sutra (Saddharmapundarika / Myoho Renge Kyo), specifically in Nichiren Buddhism. I chant Nammyohorengekyo. I learned this Buddhist teaching since I was little, my parents are the believers of this religion. Shortly, this religion teaching is based on Sakyamuni Buddha's lattest Sutra, called the Lotus Sutra (You may find out more details here) that are developed more by Nichiren Buddha that apparently lived in Japan.

I don't really know Master Cheng Yen's Buddhism basic (since Buddha Dharma itself has a lot of streams and sects). However, when I listened to Master Cheng Yen's teaching, I found out that her teaching is really similar to what I heard in Nichiren Buddhism, such as the term of "emerging earth Bodhisattva", "three poisons", "heaven and hell inside our mind" and "emerge the Buddha soul within you". Then I tried to searched her biography and I read that her primary learned sutra was the Lotus Sutra. It is written that Master Cheng Yen's initial exposure to the Lotus Sutra happened when she abandoned her earthly (and reasonably wealthy) family in Taiwan and stayed away from the world by lodging in a small hut then accidentally found a Japanese version of the Lotus Sutra, and was pleased with what the book said. Later, she had a friend bring back a Japanese copy of the Lotus Sutra (Myoho Renge Kyo) from Japan, and was immensely enlightened by it.

So, no wonder that her teaching is not so different from what I learned in Nichiren Buddhism, they have the same basic source, the Lotus Sutra :D

Okay now folks, I have told you a loooongg story about my current thought. I hope you didn't get bored, hehehe. I am not a religious person, not that type of person who go to the temple so often, nor an activist of the Buddhist organization of what. Anyhow, I do respect and love to comprehend Buddha Dharma, that teaches me about this mysterious life we are now dwelling in.